SSSSHARKKKKK!!!!!

Sat down to watch telly last night and of of all the films to have on ITV were showing Jaws!

I watched it up until Robert Shaw said:

Cage goes in the water
You go in the water
Shark is in the water

I decided that as I am going to be in a shark cage in just over a month's time that it would be unwise to watch the rest of the film. I know what happens to the shark cage anyway!

I wonder what they are showing tonight - Attack of the killer koalas?


PS Someone has already commented on my 'SEX' post saying it does not seem to have worked. Give it time Paul - you obviously did not see the ad come up for LondonSpankDaddy!

SEX!

No reason at all for this post other than to see what google ads come up!

I am going to change some of the titles for the more recent posts as well in order to get ads that may appeal to people reading them - I will place them in brackets. After all bus tours of Belfast are all very well but nobody really wants to do that!

Just one more wafer thin pint! (BEER!)

25th July

RIGHT! At the moment I am in Dublin to go out ONE LAST TIME for a couple of pints with friends. This is the VERY LAST TIME I will be drinking until I go away on my Travels. (In Dublin anyway).

26th (12 o'clock)
Last night after gate crashing my ex works BBQ (free drink) I ended up in the the bermuda triangle of bars (That's Keoghs - McDaids - Bruxelles) This basically resulted in an alien abduction as instead of getting a Night bus back to Blackrock I found that I had been beamed down to Bray at 2 o'clock in the morning - a bit annoying to say the least.

7pm:
Tonight is the VERY LAST TIME I will be drinking before travelling - in Belfast this time!

27th (1 o'clock)
Oh my God I feel awful!

World Tour

OK - everybody I meet seems to want to know where I am going on this trip (including me as I honestly don't entirely know!)

So here it is:



1. 2nd August: London Heathrow at 7pm and into Johannesburg at 7am.

I then have to wait around Joberg airport for 5 hours trying not to get robbed or abducted until I catch a bus to Lydenburg where I stay overnight and then get picked up to go to the 'Enkosini Wildlife Santuary' where I will stay until 1st Sept.

I then have two weeks to travel to Capetown using bazbus or other means before starting work on the 15th Sep at the white sharks project

I then have two more weeks in and around Capetown before flying back to Joberg.

2. 14th Oct: Fly out of Joberg at 4pm and into Perth, oz at 8am

I have two weeks in and around Perth then

3. 29th Oct: Fly out of Perth at 10am and into Sydney at 4pm

another 12 odd weeks in oz until

4. 27 Jan: Fly out of Sydney at 8am (how the hell am I going to get there in time for that!) and into Christchurch at 2pm

5. Then its overland for 6 weeks to auckland

6. 10 Mar: Fly out of Auckland at 5pm and into Santiago at 1pm

Spend 6 weeks in South America. Somehow I have to end up in Peru.

7/8/9/10 21 Apr: Fly out of Lima at 9pm and into Madrid on 22nd at 2pm (I think I was told the plane stops at Miami (8) but I stay on and then its back to London on 22nd at 5pm arriving at 6pm.

Hey I am glad I did that because other than 6 weeks in South Africa I do not have a baldy root what I am doing.

Bag of shite (BABIES)

After the greyhound post I think a more upbeat post is required.

So here is a picture of Shadow, one of two wolf hybrids which are currently being kept at the DSPCA centre.



and here is a picture of Shadow and Me.






And here is a big bag of shite


Just to show what I have to pick up at the centre. I am going to miss it :-(

It's a greyhounds life

Its Ranting time:

Until I started volunteering at the DSPCA I did not think there was anything wrong with greyhound racing. In fact I thought it was a good nights entertainment. You could drink (naturally!) and do a bit of gambling. I would even suggest it as a possibility for works outing.

I no longer think that way:

This is what happens to a lot of them when they are no longer able to race or have just not made the grade. These are the lucky ones because they are at the DSPCA they will be kept until a home is found.

Others are sent to dog pounds where they are put down. Others have an even worse fate - Heres a poem I nicked off one of the numerous greyhound rescue sites:


Racing days are over
Thought the pain would go away
But soon I learned a different fate
Was headed straight my way

He reached his hands into my cage
And pushed me out once more
I glanced at all my weary friends
As he led me out the door



It hurts to walk; it hurts to stand
Been through all I could endure
But all my pains are nothing that
Somebody's love could not cure

I'm pushed against a concrete wall
And know I've failed the test
He said I wasn't fast enough
And reached into his vest



I close my eyes and cower
As I shake, my senses dull
Then I feel the barrel of a gun
Against my skull

Isn't there a better way
To entertain a crowd?
But my thoughts are interrupted
By a noise so hard and loud



I'm just another failure
Racing to my final day
And sometimes all the winners
Will lose a race someday

They call it an "exciting sport"
They say that it's humane
But a sport that always ends in death
To me, is not a game
(c) Addie Patricia Asay



Maybe the next time you will think twice about going to the dogs for a night out.

Trieste Walking Tour - 21st June

On the last day of my Croatia trip I had to stay in Trieste which is in Italy just on the border with Slovenia. James Joyce stayed there for 10 years, so on my last night, in the best tradition of Irish writers, I went to the pub to watch the footie.

But first I did a bit of a walk around (points are marked on the map)

1. My Hotel which is right beside a very nice large church (whose name I have forgotten) Its a very nice large church until it starts gonging out the time at 6 o'clock on a Sunday!



2. This pic is of the fore mentioned church which has a very nice fountain in front of it. I had a nice traditional italian meal at a restaurant beside this fountain. With beer obviously!





3. On across to the quay to look back at the main plaza.










4. Then into the main Plaza to take pics of all the main buildings - I haven't a clue what their names are but they are were built in the Austro-Hungarian era.








5. Finally I walked along the sea front working up a thirst until I happened upon this heavenly body:










Sorry wrong image - This heavenly body - a pint of real ale!








6. Slight detour on way back from the Real ale pub to take a pic of this rich bastard's boat.



That's some carbon footprint! If only I had a big key!



7. Time was getting on now and I wanted to settle myself down for the footie match which was Holland v Russia. Could I find a bar showing the footie - could I f@*k! There were loads of bars full of the beautiful people out to pose on a Saturday night and not one of them was showing the footie. I didn't even know how to ask for directions: ("Scusie, I looka fora le footballa. prego?").

8. Finally after much frantic searching I came across a bar just on the other side of the plaza which had large screens outside showing the footie. Thank god - now for drinki!


A side observation:



This was one of the presenters on the Italian football coverage.






And this is one for the football coverage in Croatia.









And in Ireland we have this - Eamon Dunphy. A man who whose face looks like a halloween mask that has been left by the fire too long.


One last observation: What the hell is this!!



Imagine a toilet like this in Ireland. Holy Shit! (all over the place!)

The Verb 'To Paddle'

From talking to people in Croatia nobody outside of Britain and Ireland seems to know what 'to have a paddle' means so I am going to explain!

Unlike the rest of the world people in Ireland (and the UK) do not have lovely warm water to swim in so instead of bathing when the water approaches bearable temperatures they have a paddle. Here are the usual steps:

1. Find a sandy beach or body of water with a gently slopping incline into it.

2. Take your shoes and socks off. In some places in Ireland it is advisable to place your socks in your shoes and tie your laces together in order to hang them round your neck. This is so noone can nick them while you are paddling!

3. Roll up your trousers tightly to just past the knee. This ensures your trousers stay up and your circulation is cut off to your toes.

4. Walk into the water followed quickly by running out of the water screaming "Jesus that's freezing". Repeat this action for 5 minutes until your feet are sufficiently numb.

5. Continue to walk deeper into the water while crying things like 'Oh that's cold' and 'brrrrr'.

6. Finally after 10 minutes you have gotten to the point where the water is just below your knees and you can relax. At this point usually one of three things happen(in order of wetness) a. Your trousers fall down into the water soaking your jeans for the rest of the day. b. A large wave which has been lurking out to sea suddenly pounces and soaks you up to your waist or c. your paddling friend decides it would be a great hoot to push you into the water.

7. Once sufficiently wet you can clamber back out of the water, put your shoes on (never the socks because you forgot to bring a towel and your feet are still soaking) and squelch to the nearest pub thinking "well that's that for another year".

One other thing about paddling. Because its such a great pastime they actually have things called paddling pools. These are places where children can enjoy paddling safely away from tides and waves. Off course they are made of concrete, are as slippy as hell and have large jutting sides just right for splitting your head open on.



Here is a typical paddling pool. Note the bridge for increased running / slipping / falling.

Franjo Sablic - Unsung Hero

Franjo or Franz as he was known was quite simply mad!

Franz was responsible for organising who did what each day at the Eco centre in Croatia. He would make sure no one was at a loss for things to do - even if it meant lifting donkey poo (thanks Franz!).

He seemed to work at the centre 7 days a week and 12 hours a day (mind you he did have 3 kids back home including a baby so the eco centre might have seemed a blissful paradise in comparison).

After work he would organise things like boat trips or guided bus tours but when he had to be he was strict in making sure everybody knew what they had to do - His catchphrase was "After eating is Meeting!" and boy did he make sure of that.



Franz doing his Sami Selio impersonation.

A couple of other things about Franz.

He is a coach for a local kids football team and is fanatical about the game (well betting on it anyway)

He is licensed to hunt wild boar. I will do a minor Ray Rant here. Wild boar were introduced to the Island in the 50's or 60's so that rich hunters could come and hunt when ever they wanted. (they are not native to the island) They have bred out of control and cause immense damage to the land and even kill lambs and sheep. The locals are powerless to react as they are not allowed to shoot the boars (only the hunters are allowed and they do not give out their licenses easily). As a result of this some locals have tried to illegally poison boars by placing out poisoned meat. This has also resulted in deaths to griffin vultures and was one of the biggest reasons for their decline on the island. The hunters keep the boar population high by only killing a certain numbr of boar at a time - Franz is the only hunter trying to actually limit the population.

Hvala Hrvatska

My Second Port of call on my Conservation Travels was Croatia at the Eco Centar, Beli, Cres. Here is what I learnt on this trip.

1. The first and most important thing I learnt was that there is no alcohol allowed to be consumed on the premises! However there was a bar 50 metres up the street and you were allowed to drink there (infact I was virtually forced to by some people) and they were showing all the European Championship football games. Drink and footie is there anything better?

2. I learnt that I cannot speak Croatian. The very first word I had to learn was Hvala which means thank you. My attempts to pronounce this one little word caused nothing but confusion and mirth to the Croatian locals. Attempts included Ha-Va-La, Viola, Fa-la and even Koala. All failed - trying to say hv without a vowel in between is beyond my limited language comprehension. One word was very simple to say in Croatian -pivo (beer). I only ever attempted cheers once - Zivjeli as I nearly swallowed my tongue trying.

3. The health and safety used on Cres is slightly different from the National Trust. Whereas steel toe capped boots are required for manual labour on National Trust holidays in Croatia any footwear will do - especially when building stone walls. I believe they use the rule that if you drop a big rock on your foot then you are unlikely to do it again anyway. Also hard hats are not required when bringing cement up and down a mountainside as they may inhibit you hearing a rockslide heading your way. For all their limits on health and safety no one got hurt once. If you have no protection you tend to think more about what your doing. For example one day I thought to myself 'You know I'm a volunteer who actually paid to do this so why the hell am I holding on to the side of a cliffface looking for bird feathers?'

Me and my stone wall which I built myself (OK! Which I helped build!)










4. If you are going to stall a minibus on a road with a 20 degree incline full of fat Italian pensioners try not to start rolling back towards the edge of the cliff. Also when hanging out the back of a Lada 4X4 being driven up the same road try to keep your feet off the ground!






5. Althought griffin vultures only eat carrion you cannot help but feel a bit apprehensive when going into their cage to feed them - especially one of them called Koleda who has a particular liking for sheeps eyes!




6. Vultures eat a lot - as seen from one old eating station on the island.






7. You get to appreciate how precious water is when you live somewhere where all your water has to be delivered by tanker every day. The old motto when going to the toilet applies:

If its Yellow, let it mellow. If it's Brown, wash it down.
Just as well I was not drinking Guinness then! If its black....?


Here are other images from my trip - in no particular order:

Shaun of the Dead?

Beli at night

Secluded Inlet

Eventually the Scotch revert to character


You want me to go up there!

Made it

Christelle shows Franz a new rugby move

Boat rides are great

Beli Harbour

Its tough work here in Croatia

Aaah! Kittens



We men! We drink!

I'll stick with the women

Lizard
A final Pic

A great place - its just a pity Croatia lost the footie on the final night :(

Griffin Vultures of Croatia

First of all I nicked the photo above off the internet. I'm afraid that in my two weeks in Croatia I never got a decent picture of a vulture which is a bit daft as there were two cages with birds at the back of the eco centre I was staying in!

Appendum: I did take a photo of Koleda on my phone while feeding him so here it is:





A few facts about the Griffin Vultures of Croatia:

The griffin vulture is the second largest bird in Europe with a 3 metre wing span (its f"@king big!) and weighing 6-13 kilos. Its range goes from Spain in the West right through to India in the East.

In Croatia the birds are even bigger than normal weighing up to 15 kilos. This is because unlike nearly all other Griffin Vultures in the world the ones in Croatia nest on sea cliffs - sometimes very close to the water. Basically 10,000 years ago there were no islands of Croatia - just mountainous valleys. Then the Ice age ended and the Mediterrenian and Adriatic filled up with water.

So one morning 10,000 years ago Mrs vulture wakes up and goes; 'Adam and Eve! Who the hell left the tap on last night!' (Obviously they said this in Croatian not English and I know that the tap had still not been invented but you get the gist). So junior vulture and all his generations afterwards grew up having to fly out over the sea in order to get their thermals (that's hot air uplifts not warm underwear). As a result of this they have had become bigger than normal griffin vultures.

Now to the Eco Centre:

The Griffin Vultures of Croatia had been in steady decline in the 20th century due to various reasons and in the 90's only the Island to Cres had any birds remaining on it. Here too they were going to die out. So thats were the Eco Centre came to the rescue. It was established in 1993 and since then through its efforts the birds have gone from a low of 20 pairs to over 70 pairs. They have also started recolonising other nearby islands. If you have time checkout their site - its very good. Eco Centre