Foam!

I became slightly depressed after hearing I had blown any chance of getting money though my ads - I was looking forward to getting my first payment this month!

In order to drown my sorrows I went to the Gaff to have free bangers and mash + lager for $5. I was about to move on when they rang a bell for happy hour - tooheys new for $2 a schooner (wahey)

Before I knew it I was downstairs at their foam party! I didn't actually go on the dancefloor - I wasn't that drunk! The dance floor looked like one of those ads for wella shockwaves. All these barechested guys prancing around with gelled, highlighted hairdos. I always wondered who actually bought that stuff! I think they spent more time looking at themselves in mirrors than the ladies - tossers.

Today I moved out of my hostel to another one up the road. This one is slightly better but the hostel itself has no life to it at all. It could be a very lonely couple of days stuck here in Sydney.

As for the blog - I don't know if I will continue it as its costing me money that I thought I was going to get from ads. It would be nice to get some feedback from people out there either via email or comments.

I will tell you what, if there are enough votes on the Pinnicles Penis Poll I'll continue the blog. If not then I will pull the plug.

I am now off to find a Halloween party to crash.

BUGGER!

When I asked for people to click on the ads I did not expect everyone to do multiple clicks all over the place. It now looks as if because there are too many clicks that google has disabled my ads so I don't get any money!

Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!

Sydney - First impressions

Sydney - first impressions.

My plane landed in Sydney airport at 4pm - bang on time after a boring 4 hour flight. The first thing that struck me was the bloody rain! Yes it was raining in Sydney. Obviously all this crap about Australia being in the middle of its worst drought in living memory was all before Ray Finn, supreme weather maker, arrived!

I phoned up the hostel I had booked - which has a free shuttle service from the airport only to be told that you have to stay for 3 or more nights to get the free shuttle. I naturally had only booked 2! So I ended up paying for a shuttle bus into town and eventually arrived at my hostel.

By the time I got there it was well after 6pm so all I really wanted to do was get some food, a couple of beers and an early night. I was shown to my really hot and humid 8 bed mixed dorm. After 2 weeks in Perth of having to sleep in top bunks it was at least refreshing to claim a bottom bunk. (I did however hit my head a real cracker this morning getting up!).

Then I went and asked reception where I could get cheap food and a beer near by. They gave me a card that allowed you to have a free meal at a nightclub near by - as long as you bought a drink. I thought. Well if I HAVE to buy a drink to get the meal then I suppose I had better force one into me.

The beer cost $5 for a schooner (just over half a pint) and for that I got a free breast of chicken covered in some sort of Italian sauce and some chips - a real bargain. The only down side was I was subjected to some very cheesy 80's music videos - Billy Idol doing 'White Wedding' and even worse Sheena Easton doing 'Morning Train'. Still I did find out what the nightclub has on for over the Halloween period and on Thu (tonight) its Foam party night - welcome to Sydney!

Lost / Broken things:
My hairclippers! left in SA I think. I will have to buy some new ones before I start looking like a spiny anteater!

Things I have learnt

It might seem a cool idea at the time but NEVER go out drinking in shorts and sandels because sooner or later you will need to break the seal in some very dubious toilets.

When trying to figure out how to use a squeezy sachet of ketchup always try to point the opening at your sausage roll and not at your trousers.

Aussi staff that work with the public must have to dry up a puddle with their wit as part of their interview.eg Rotts Nest Island Ferry stewart when talking about sick bags.
'There are instructions at the bottom of the bag (barf here perhaps?) but if you don't have time just open the bag, stick your head in and heave for your life'

Aussi ads rely heavily on toilet humour - which is great!

If you are able to change your seat number when checking into your flight - don't! That way you will not notice that you have moved seats from beside a sexy brunette to sitting beside an old Aussi couple.

Glossary update:

Crack the shits: Aussi term - Slightly annoyed. Not happy

Back to work

All my own work (ok so its not!)

Finally on the last 2 days of my stay in Perth I got round to some actual conservation work. I did try to get in touch with the local conservation volunteers the previous week but I was told that their project was full. I was, however able to put my name down for doing some work on Mon and Tue of this week.

So at 8am I was collected from the meeting point just around the corner from my hostel and off I went to start saving the world again. Our team leader Ruth took me, A Korean guy, a retired Aussi and an English guy to a small dune nature reserve down south of Perth which seemed to be in the centre of an industrial estate. We then spent the morning weeding out an invasive species called Geraldton Carnation. There was bloody lots of the stuff! By the end of the day we had filled about 30-40 bags worth of it and still had not made much of a dent!

At 2pm it was time to go - as with most volunteering you only really do half a days work with several tea breaks and a long lunch thrown in for good measure.

The next day I was put with another group - mostly Korean and our team leader this time was a Columbian called Fernando - a very funny guy who tried to persuade me to go to Columbia as part of my South American trip and to also learn to Tango in Buenos Aires!

Again we went to a coastal sand dune reserve but this time we were dealing with another species called white broom. As this stuff had tap roots of over 3m straight down there was no way we were going to be able to pull it out. Instead we cut off the branches and sprayed some poison on the cut stems. There was an awful lot less of this than we thought and we easily dealt with it by lunch. That meant that after lunch we ended up doing the usual conservation fallback - litter picking!

Well in the two days I didn't exactly save the planet but I did get a lot of info from the volunteers about other places I am going - namely New Zealand and South America. I also realised that if you want to find out places to go and things to do at a local level then these are the people to talk to. Unfortunately for Perth it came too late but now that I am in Sydney I am already in touch with the local group to see what is happening so fingers crossed I can do some proper stuff here.


bobtail Lizard found in sand dunes

A flower for the lady readers

Sunday Roast - 26th Oct

Having been so good on Friday and Saturday night by hardly touching a drop of the amber nectar I thought I would have a couple of mid afternoon pints on Sunday. Also one of the Irish lads out of the Hostel called Paddy (Yes actually called Paddy!) was going to be playing his fiddle at a local bar called the shed.

Before starting any drinking I and my dormroom mate Brent (A tassie) went for a slapup (and relatively cheap by Perth standards) Sunday Roast. I really needed to get some roast spuds into me before my digestive system went into meltdown!

After the meal we went to the shed. It turned out that they were having an Oktoberfest weekend. All this really meant was that they had an ompa german band complete with tuba doing tunes while some of their barmaids dressed up in traditional german costumes and pranced around talking to the customers. Soon the band finished and they replaced it with jukebox music - all Irish rock. The oktoberfest very quickly turned from a German festival to a St Paddy day festival - there seemed to be Irish drunks everywhere wearing ROI tops, Irish Rugby tops and GAA tops.

I discovered that you could get a pint of Carlton draught for $4 making it the cheapist drink since arriving in oz. The only problem was that it seemed to be cooled to just above absolute zero and froze the inside of my throat with each glup. I managed to redress this problem slightly by ordering jugs of the stuff rather than pints :). Myself and Brent then took it in turns to get jugs while we talked to some of the other guys from the hostel.

In the end Paddy did not get to play as the rest of the Irish band did not turn up so we all ended up back at the hostel to continue our drinking. I have to say that once more i was (good (in relative terms!) because I sneaked away from everyone else to go to bed early. This was because I knew I was volunteering the next day. The rest of the lads, all of who had to work the next day, did not appear until mid Monday afternoon - having forgone their days wages in the process.

Lists update 28th Oct

Just a quick one

Beers I have drank:
The good thing about Perth and Freemantle is that there is quite a wide variety of beers - all Dear! I can't remember all the ones I have had but here are some of them

Small Creatures Ale:
Small Creatures Bright Beer
Redback Wheat Beer
Carlton Draught
Mad Monk Epic Ale
Tooheys New
Swan draught
James esquire Amber Ale
James esquire golden Ale



Animals I have seen:
Quokka - Marsupial Rottnest Island 20th Oct
Birds:
Magpie Lark 17th Oct Perth
Australian Magpie 17th Oct Perth
Red Wattlebird 17th Oct Perth
Wandering Whistling Duck 17th Oct Perth
Pacific Black Duck 17th Oct Perth
Australian Ringneck 17th Oct Perth
Laughing Kookaburra 17th Oct Perth
Rainbow Lorikeet 17th Oct Perth
Silver Gull 19th Oct Freemantle
Caspian Term 20th Oct Rottnest Island
Australian Shelduck 20th Oct Rottnest Island
Banded Stilt 20th Oct Rottnest Island
Black winged Stilt 20th Oct Rottnest Island
Australian Pelican 20th Oct Rottnest Island

pinnacles tour

Pinnacles Tour 25th Oct

The reason why I did not drink too much after the Friday night Game was because I had booked myself onto a tour the following day. The '4WD Pinnacle experience'. This trip promised Koalas, Pinnacles, Sand dunes and Sand boarding - an experience of a lifetime!

I had to be down at the city centre to get picked up at 7am so it was just as well that I didn't drink after the game the night before. At 7:20 the giant 4wd bus pulled up and the driver asked 'Are you Mr Sim?' Why can't people get my surname right! I was going to correct him then I thought sod it I'll be Ray Sim for the day.

The trip could best be described as a 'Nap and Snap' tour - due to the fact that between each stop everybody just fell asleep.

On the way out of Perth our driver Len tried to keep us entertained by giving a running commentry on buildings and locations in the city. He then decided that a it would be a good idea to sing all 4 verses of Waltzing Matilda!

Out first stop was a wildlife park outside of Perth. Here we were handed over to one of the centres guides and herded quickly into an enclosure were we we could stroke the Koala's. Then we were quickly taken to another enclosure full of kangaroos were we could again stroke and feed them. Finally we were taken to see a wombat which was carried in by another warden who sat on a bench still holding it so that pwople could tickle its belly.

here skippy

Before I knew it that part of the trip was over and we were taken to the souvenir and cafe of the park. It would have been nice to have a leisurely walk round the park but I got the feeling that time was limited on this tour. I don't think I would have enjoyed the park anyway - from what I could see a lot of its enclosures were extremely small, especially the bird ones.

After a lot more travelling we arrived at our lunch destination. Lunch consisted off cold meat and salad brought with us on the coach. For a cold lunch it was actually pretty good. There was lots of cold chicken and ham as well cold spuds and all sorts of salad stuff. I naturally stuffed my face with as much as I could before going back for seconds.

After lunch it was onto the Pinicles which are limestone like pillers that emerge from sand dunes in a desert area North of Perth. TO be honest they were slightly disappointing as I was expecting them to be bigger but it was still good to see them. Unfortunately the tour only allowed us about 45 minutes to look at them and we had to stick close to the driver while we were there. I was busy taking snaps when I thought I would try to find one that looked most like a man's todger. So of I went running round taking snaps of large dick like rocks!

Our final stop (after a brief stop to photograph some wildflowers - it was mentioned in the tour afterall) was on a set of large sand dunes near the pinnacles.

Here our driver let some air out of his tyres and then took us up and down the sand dunes in the 4x4 part of the experience. It was fun but not at all exhilerating.

We then did some sand boarding which was great:



Even Dm enjoyed it.



Finally it was time to go back to Perth - another 2 hours drive. We eventually arrived back in the city at 8pm.

Because there was a parade on in Northbridge the driver could not return me to my hostel. Instead I walked up from the city centre and joined the crowds eagerly waiting for the parade to pass. I had no idea what sort of parade it was but judging by the number of people waiting I thought it must be good. I had managed to place myself directly across from a bar which was showing live premiership football on one screen and raunchy videos on another screen. It was torture waiting for the Parade but finally it arrived:




Yep A gay pride parade complete with floats and bands. It was pretty good but quite short. I heard later that two lads from my hostel had stripped to their boxers and taken part in the parade - as a bet to get some beer!


Anyway I thought for a bit of fun I would change my poll.

So here it is The Pinnacle Penis Poll.

Which one of the following pinnacles looks most like a Penis - use the poll to the right of the blog:


A

B

C

D

International rules football

International Rules Match 24th Oct.

As everybody out of my hostel was going to the GAA / Aussi Rules football game I thought I would grab a ticket and head over myself.

First I shall give a quick explanation to those who nothing about these games (eg ME!)

GAA - Gaelic football is a game played only in Ireland and is a sort of cross between rugby and soccer. Its played with a round ball on a and has goal posts which look exactly like a set of rugby posts with a soccer net attached at the bottom. you get 1 point if the ball goes through the upright posts and 3 points if you manage to put the ball into the net. Its played everywhere in Ireland and is a completely amateur sport.

Aussi rules is played on an oval pitch - usually a cricket pitch with an oblong ball similar to a rugby or american football. At each end of the pitch are 4 upright posts. (I think) you score 1 point if the ball goes through the outside posts and 6 points if the ball goes through the inner posts. Its played by professionals in certain parts of Australia.

Some bright spark some years ago thought it would be a good idea to have a challenge matches between the two games but to create rules made from both sports. Thus the international rules matches were born.

They play with a round ball like in GAA and on a rectangle pitch like in GAA. Instead of having the GAA posts or the Aussi posts they have a combination of both! So you score 1 point if it goes through the outer aussi rules posts, 3 points if it goes over the GAA net and 6 points if it goes into the GAA net.

Last year the games were held in Ireland and there was so much violence between the two teams that they were threatening to abandon the competition altogether.

I like just about every other Irish person in Perth went to the games. I would say out of a crowd of 37,000 at least 20,000 were Irish. That will give you an idea of just how many Irish there are in this city.

The game itself was exciting and close. In the first quarter Ireland dominated. Then in the second Quarter the Aussis came back and both sides went in with 19 points each at half time. It was the same story in the second half. Ireland went ahead in the 3rd Quarter then the Aussis came back to within a point in the fourth quarter. By this stage the amateur Irish were just about out on their feet and were playing some stupid time wasting which even their own supporters started booing (well I did anyway!). The Irish held on to win 45 to 44. I did hear the next day that the Irish players - being Irish were out on the town the night before the game getting Merrily wasted.

They have a rematch next week - in Melbourne I think.

As I mentioned in a previous post my weather jinx has arrived in Perth - 1 week late. It had been raining off and on all day including at half time during the game. But it wasn't until after the game that the heavens decided to open up and produce I full scale thunder storm complete with monsoon like rain. It was in this weather - in a tee shirt that I and all the other supporters had to make their way back to the city centre.

Every pub along the way was full to the brim with Irish celebrating the result and trying to get out of the rain. It was just like being back in Dublin. I actually decided just to go back to the hostel and have a couple of pints there before retiring to bed!

I know, a Friday night after a big game with loads of drinking to be done and I go home!

quick post

Well I have moved back to Perth and I am in a lot better hostel than the first time (although its not as good as the old firestation in Freemantle)

As with everywhere the place is full of Irish. Some of the Irish women here have done Ireland a great service by removing themselves from the gene pool back there.

Its pouring down with rain too - Welcome back Jinx weather!

Tonight I am off to the International Rules game (if I can get a ticket which I am about to try for now)

Keep clicking them ads - I need to repair my roof back home in Belfast!

Cottsloe Beach

Look at all the babes!


Well its taken almost a week for the Weather Jinx to catch up with me but on the day we decided to go to Cottesloe beach it arrived!

So rather than walking along, ogling at lots of scantily clad women, myself and Simon ended up walking along a cold, deserted extremely windy beach doing another English Lesson. In truth I probably learnt more French than he did English. Why can't I make friends with a Spanish person - a lot of use French is going to be in South America!

Me: You know - that's K.N.O.W not N.O.
Simon: K.N.O.W. it is a silent K?
Me: Oui!
Me Then you have NOOOOOOOW! which is N.O.W but don't pronounce like Northern Irish People - HOOOW NOOOOW BROOOOWN COOOOOW

Me: You know that walking on this sand is hurting my calfs - that's these things here (pointing to legs) not baby cows - you know (K.N.O.W) Mooo! That's pronounced Moo not like we say in Northern Ireland MOOOOOOO!

Etc Etc I think I should just give up on teaching English

After our lesson we had a pint in the local hotel (most expensive one so far - 9.50!) before heading back to the train station to go back to Freemantle.

On the way back I tired out my French:

Me: Voiture
Simon: Car
Me: Arbour?
Simon: Tree
Me: Velo
Simon: Bike
Me: Dyke on Bike:
Simon??

Me: Dyke you know lesbian.... and we're off again.


That night - being my last one in Freemantle we went out for a couple of pints. Jimmy and Josh - the other two from our room and what looked like most of the other backpackers were already going out to a local bar where they do Karaoke.

As per usual when I have to get up and move out of a place it became a very messy night - it was my blog money after all!

I did have simon going round to all the Irish saying "Wadda bout ye" so I am getting somewhere!

Simon and Josh

Guy from Kilkeel and his "buddy"

Me and Jimmy

Quokka

Other than biking and snorkeling the other reason why I wanted to go to Rottnest island was to see these little creatures.

I thought after 3 hours of biking round the island that I wasn't going to see any (except one badly decomposed one which might have been the pic I used!).

I should have just stayed near the main boat jetty - cause that is where we seen them! You could almost touch them they were that fearless of you.

I shall just add a link to Wikepedia for more info.

Quokka

These marsupials are very rare on the mainland but are quite common on Rottnest and some other islands off the coast off Perth because they have no introduced predators. That just about sums up quite a lot of Australias wildlife - they are only able to survive properly on offshore islands.

Rottnest Island 20th Oct

On Mon Simon and I went for a day trip to Rottnest Island off the coast of Freemantle. Its called Rootnest as it literally translates as Rats Nest in Dutch. This is because the first dutch

Eventually I got it on. Here I am snorkeling in the ocean. Couldn't see a bloody thing cause that plonker hadn't cleaned the mask properly.

settlers thought the island was covered in rats when in fact the animals they seen were Quokkas, a type of small marsupial (more later - see you learn with this blog!)

The island should really be called Fly Island because the place was infested with them - they didn't mention that in the bloody tourist board! It seems the flys (non biting - just annoying as F"£K) had only arrived the previous day (Yes! my Jinx strikes again!). I had brought a spare t shirt which served quite well as a fly net but made me look like a terrorist!


Pointless Alqueda Holiday snap #5

The best way to see the island is by bike which you can hire for the day. So after hiring two cheap bikes (no gears and little brakes) we merrily rode along, tingling our bells, surrounded by flies until Simon got a puncture (ME JINX). We had to wait 1/2 hour for a replacement bike to arrive before we could be on our way. Of course the replacement bike ended up having no brakes which left Simon having to crash into signs and bushes to stop himself.

New olympic sport of bike snorkeling

Me and Simon

After about 3km we came to a nice cove where you can snorkel among the southern most coral in the world (apparently!). I had purchased a mask and snorkel the previous day just for this trip. It was only when I had geared up that I realised how unprepared I was for the snorkeling. I had forgotten to bring my sandals which meant I had to cross some jagged rocks bare feet before I could get to the coral.

That was ok but I had also forgotten to prepare my mask by using toothpaste to rub off the manufacturers resin. The result was that as soon as I started to snorkel the mask misted up and it felt like I was looking through fog. No matter how much spitting and cleaning I did the result was always the same. My right goggle did have one area of clearness so I tried closing my left eye to see better. That just meant I banged into things quicker.

The coral was not that great anyway. I was toying with doing some actual scuba diving on the island but was glad I didn't as there was not much to see. I think I picked the wrong cove to do the snorkeling as the next one looked far better.

Simon did not go in the water having no snorkeling gear so I headed back quite quick so he wouldn't get bored. We then spent the next two hours cycling round the island taking photos of beaches, lakes and coves before heading back to the boat jetty for our trip home.

rich bastard!

It was a nice way to spend a day - but it could have been a great day if we prepared better (I blame that on the drinking the night before - as usual!)

PS I have not had any alcohol for the last 2 days. No beer and no TV make Ray unhappy!

DM SNORKELS:

Hi everyone Danger mouse here.

After my incident with monsterism (Perth is still recovering) I needed to have a calm swim in the Indian ocean and what better way than to snorkel off Rottsnest Island.

Here I am trying to get Rays rather large snorkel gear on me.



Here I am in the water snorkeling away. Couldn't see a thing because that twat finn forgot to prepare the mask!



Afterwards it was time to dry off.




Then I needed to protect myself from all the blasted flies!!



See you soon! DM (I fear no man nor Beast!)

Thanks

Hey my post worked! I just made $20! Keep up the good work. I really wanna see those clicks! Feel free to pass this blog on to whoever you want - the more the merrier and feel free to comment as well.

$20 (USA) = about $22 Aus = 9 bottles of cheap beer or 2.5 very expensive ales.

I shall decide later on.

Cheers everyone you made my night (literally)

quick post

Hey! could somebody please click on the ads so I can get some money!

Thanks

Ray - Broke in Freemantle! (why do you think I am downloading so much stuff - its free internet access at this hostel and I am sitting here in the middle of the afternoon!)

Freo - 18th Oct - ? (I am still here!)

Perth, as a city is ok but is nothing special. It does not have many attractions - except Kings Park and a couple of museums. Its nightlife revolves around high end pubs full of poseurs and low end nightclubs full of tossers. The poseurs and tossers are also the same people only with more alcohol. At the end of one of my nights drinking with the English and Norwegian girls we had a kebab at 2am and watched as a fight started outside. Its the first time on this trip that I felt truly homesick!

I came down to Freemantle to escape Perth for a couple of days and ended up staying. This is partly because of the backpacker place which is much better then the one in Perth but mostly because its small enough to walk around but big enough to have an atmosphere. It is also right beside the sea so its slightly cooler than Perth and you can watch the sunset.

Markets

I managed to stay off the beer for my first night which I thought was very good as it was a Saturday. On Sunday I went to the markets which they have each weekend in Freo. It was like any other market I had been to. Some food stalls, some fruit and veg stalls and lots of stalls selling gifts, souvenirs, crafts and tat. As I already said I do not like shopping and markets to me are the apex of shit shopping. So why did I go. Simple, someone told me in Perth that they had free food samples. Unfortunately the free samples turned out to be bits of apple, pear and orange - not the cooked meat and veg I had wished for. Still I took what I could get - my budget since Perth has gone from Post coital Elephant shrink to post coital Southern Right Whale Shrink.

Sunset

I had meant to watch the sunset the first night I got here but I mistimed it and got to the seafront too late. On Sunday I mistimed it the other way and got there far too early. This meant that I ended up walking round the Harbour restaurants and marina for ages waiting for the sun to settle. I even got so bored that I tried to take a self timer photos of my newly unveiled hairy legs (the first time in public on this trip). After several attempts I just did this:

Knobbly Knees

Here are some other pics:

statue

Safety Fishing?

There are numerous signs about the 1987 Americas cup that was held in Freemantle. The following picture is part of one of the OFFICIAL signs and shows a typical Aussi response directed to the skipper of the winning USA yacht:




Eventually I got hungry and ended up going to cheapest looking restaurant for a small chip and beer - both were crap VB lager and half done chip. But it killed enough time to allow me to see the sunset. To be honest I have seen better but DM liked it:

DM - back to normal size (for the moment) enjoys the sunset


Freemantle sunset



Raymond Finn - English teacher.

After the Sunset I went back to the Backpackers to SSS before going out for a couple of pints to celebrate a within budget day. I invited along Simon who was staying in my dorm. He's a French guy staying in Australia for 4 months. His English is good but still needs work and I dutifully took on the task of teaching him (stop laughing!). We went to a very large bar called Small Creatures which turned out to be a micro brewery with all their own beer. The place was enormous and was basically built around their brewing facilities with large steel containers as a backdrop to the bar. We asked the Aussi barman what beers they had as they had no signs to say which was which. His reply was 'would you like to taste them' (bear!pope!) he then proceeded to give us large samples of each of their 4 beers to try and also explained in a very knowledgeable way about each of them. The unusual thing was for each sample he give us he himself also took a sample - I think I seen him fall over in a heap later on - obviously been doing too many samples.

We took a pint of their Bright Ale (very fruity beer - reminiscent of Timothy Taylor Landlord for you Camra people) and went outside to talk English. After another pint - this time of their very nice dark ale I started getting into the nitty gritty of the English Language:

Me: So Simon the French say 'Comment Ca Va' for how are you.
In Northen Ireland we say:'What about ye'.
Simon: 'What About vous'.
Me: What, About, Ye.
Simon: We can also just say 'Ca Va' for how are you.
Me: Ah that is the same as 'Bout ye'

We were starting to get somewhere when Simon made the mistake of trying to bum a cigarette off the Aussi next to us. After initial reluctance (cigarettes are dear afterall) he gave him one and then asked our names and where we were from.

Once he heard where we were from he was very friendly (probably because he was half-cut) and introduced himself as TROY. Then his girlfriend introduced herself - BROLWAIN (apparently her parents are Welsh). They then proceeded to take over the English Lesson:

Troy: Bas-tard,
Brolwain: As in Bastard Pommes
Simon: Bastard - ah We say B'Stard

Troy: Prick, Cock, Mother-Fucker - (you get the idea)

We were then introduced to his other friend CHUGGA and his girlfriend MEL (NORMAL NAME).

While all this was happening the bar shut (at 10 as it was Sunday) and we were at a loss for where to go next. Troy and co recommended a nightclub called Clink (i think - will check later) so off we went.

The nightclub was just like your usual basement club that you seem to get in any small town or city. Nothing special about it or the crap house/rave/pop music that was being played. Simon and I decided that as we had come this far we might as well have a couple of drinks before heading home. The one thing I will say about the place is that some of the men there seemed to take the asshole dancing to extreme (even worse than me!) by trying various bits of breakdancing and other mad gymnastics. Some of the men also seemed to have taken the macho body building to extreme. I am pretty sure I seen a Troll from a Terry Pratchett book.

My apologies to Eb and any other Australians that may be reading this. I am sure this is not your typical Aussi?

PERF 15th-18th Oct

Things I have learnt:

Having a slight speech impediment (my th's come out as f's) its never a good idea to go to a city which you can't even pronounce properly (As Kevin and Chad Constantly pointed out at the shark centre)

15th
My first day in Perth was not great. The shuttle bus to take me to the hostel was over an hour late. I was then taken on a roundabout route to my hostel Governor Robinsons.

From the start I did not like this hostel but I had already paid for 3 nights accommodation so I was stuck there like it or not. First they assigned me a bed in a very small dorm with 4 bunks. Second they assigned me a top bunk! I AM TOO OLD FOR TOP BUNKS. Trying to get my fat arse up on one is bad enough but trying to get back down again usually results in me having to half slide / half fall to the floor with a large thud.

There were lots of other small things about the place such as:

Broken lockers
reception only open certain times of the day
No free tea or Coffee
No soap or hand towels in the toilets (My mother brought me up to always wash properly afterwards!)
A kitchen that was small and a fridge that was even smaller
No lounge area and no TV

And worst of all: No BAR - not even beer for sale! (although you could bring your own carry outs back)

I was so shocked by it I had to get out and find a bar - even though it was the middle of the afternoon. So down the street i went until I came to the Brass Monkey - one of the bars mentioned in my recently purchased Rough Guide. I asked for a pint of redback wheat beer and was given the price - $8.90. What! - $8.90. I nearly dropped the glass - that works out at nearly £4 a pint! When's the next flight back to SA!

It turns out that Australia is just as dear as back home - if not dearer, Its not just the drink, food is just as bad - even from the supermarket. It looked like the holiday was over and I would have to cook my own food and stay in everynight! So I bought some provisions for dinner that night - baked beans, bread and a six pack (PEPE and Claudia come back!) and proceeded back to the dull hostel to sit around sopping on my beers.

That lasted about twenty minutes after which I went out to the local Irish Bar and drank my budget for the following day. I convinced myself that if I went to the cinema rather than a bar the following night I would get my budget back on track. (ho! ho! ho!)


16th

I was dreading this task: Shopping! I HATE SHOPPING but I was down to one pair of trousers as my other pair had a nice chummy fishy smell (yum yum). I also needed contact lenses, shirts and a new charger for my small camera. I went to a camera shop for the charger and was promptly shown a universal charger that can be used for charging just about any battery - mobiles, cameras, AA, AAA. I Thought "WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING WITH 2 TONS OF BATTERY CHARGERS IN MY KIT" you live and learn.

After the shopping I went back to the hostel to have my tinned chilli and microwaved rice dinner (Improvement on Baked beans!). I had decided to skip going back into town for the cinema and just chugged some more of my beer in the hostel. Unfortunately I got talking to an English girl and her Norwegian Friend. The hostel has a stupid policy of no noise after 11pm which meant either go out or go to bed. So out we went to the Irish bar and then on to a night club, after 3 hours drinking and 2 more days budget gone I made it back to my dorm.


17th

Finally on my third day in Perth I actually did some sightseeing and went to Kings Park. I've been to various city parks in my life but I would say that Kings Park is probably the best one I have ever been to. It had fantastic views like this:



Sorry this!



It was also well managed without looking totally manicured. Of course it helps to have birds like this flying around rather than starlings!





Kings Park is also one of the biggest city parks in the world - bigger than Central Park or Phoenix Park (Dublin). You could very easily lose yourself amongst its nature trails. OK! so I DID get lost and after about an hour of walking around in circles I eventually found my way back to the path via the DNA Tower.

Anyway here are some more pics:

BaoBoa Tree

elevated walkway

fountain

same fountain different angle

Perth City

DNA Tower

BTW I ended up back out with on the piss again with people out of the hostel got back at 3am

I am currently writing this at 11pm in a hostel in Freemantle - I have to stop going out drinking! Now where are my shoes!



STOP PRESS:

Giant Mouse attacks Perth!

In a dramatic turn of events involving a bite from a genetically modified great white shark Danger Mouse grew into a monster and started attacking down town Perth.

DM Attacks Perth!

When asked to comment Godzilla replied 'Bring it on rodent!'

Watch this space for the fight of the century (if I can find a Godzilla toy!)

South Africa - One Last Post

Things I have learnt:

On the last night in a country before catching early flights to another continent it is advisable NOT to do the following:

1. Instead of having one tequila shot in PEPE's honour have 3

2. Go on a pub crawl ending up in local Irish bar

3. Meet a fellow NORN IRON supporter

4. Drown sorrows about Slovenia result with said supporter and his friends with shots and various rendition's of 'We're not Brazil, We're Northern Ireland'

5. Lose memory of rest of night



Lists update:
No new beers

Lost/Broken:

Glasses - Lost with memory from last night in South Africa (luckily I have a spare set)

Animals Seen:

Great White Shark: 29th Sep-13th Oct: Just one or two!

Blue Crane: 2nd Oct Cape Auglus - South Africa's National bird and quite rare.

Nothing much else for them two weeks:

Picasso

On a volunteers last night they have to drink a picasso which is a set of seven shots set in a special bowl which loos like a paint palette. You do this as quick as possible - throw a straw and the last and biggest shot is in the middle and is straw rum (I know its slept a different way but that is how I will spell it!)

Afterwards this woman looks nornal!



Tonight is my last night in South Africa. I already knows I will be back - I just don't know when!

Onwards and downwards to Australia!

Unsung Hero

This was a very tough decision to make as their are so many candidates for Unsung Hero.

There is Alison, the resident marine biologist for the sharks. She has been working there for 2 years recording shark information and trying to get a database organised. She is also a BBBB but she kept making fun of my accent (don't worry Alison I didn't mind!)

Another Candidate would be Anthony - the skipper on the boat who has been working with sharks for 8 years and is completely mad.

Then there is Benz the deckhand who literally showed myself and the other volunteers Chad, Kevin and Roland the ropes.

Then there is Kari and Lisa (Mama Whale) who both work on the whale boat - and in Mama whales case sometimes on the water outside the boat!

Not forgetting all the girls in the office who do all the organising of trips (esp Natalie who managed to book me on a shuttle today even though she was 50 miles away in Hermanus - thanks)

In the end there could only be one person Jose Luis Zuniga - AKA Pepe



Pepe is Mexican and works on the whale boat with Kari and Lisa. This is the second time he has been over from Baja (where he lives and works with whales) for the Southern Right whale season but already he seems to know everybody in the area. So why Pepe.

Well I am being selfish - Pepe lives with us in the volunteer house and he just happens to love cooking and is very very good at it. He can work wonders with carrots, mushrooms and garlic producing appetizers that are out of this world. This is a typical side salad which he just flung together!




He has also been able to drive us drunken volunteers to and from the local pubs in Gansbaai as there is nothing of note near the house.

Cheers Pepe. I will have a tequila shot tonight in your honour!

Long Arm Dancing

One of the boozing sessions I had at the shark project took place at the local fishing club. They were holding a dinner dance after a fishing competition that had taken place between themselves and another local fishing club and Anthony, our boat skipper had managed to get tickets. He said (and I quote) "we need to get as many young people as possible to go - Ray your not invited!". I went anyway!

It turned out to be a very interesting evening. We got to the fishing club had some drink and then were given some food that consisted of some chicken and rice. After the food they started giving out the prizes for the day.

It seemed that everyone got some sort of prize. All the speeches were in Afrikaans which meant that I hadn't a clue what was being said. I did make out some words and phrases every now and then such as "Junior", "Senior", "Motor Oil" and I think "Take it up the ass" although I might be wrong with the last one.

After the prize givings (the other club won the overall competition BTW) the music and dancing started. This was when it became a little bit surreal. I had been informed about the dance they do in South Africa called the "Long Arm" but this was the first time I seen it.

The best way I have of describing it is like Teapot's dancing. The couples hold each other in the same way as normal waltz type dancing except the way they hold their hands which looks very awkward and reminded me of a teapot spout. They then twirled around the floor very fast almost like a foxtrot. You could tell they did it quite a lot as they were very good at it but it still looked weird. The music they danced too was also unusual as it seemed to be covers of popular songs translated into Afrikaans and played on an organ. I recognised some of the tunes which ranged from disco songs to country and western - mostly in Afrikaans.

We only stayed at the dance until about 10 when Anthony drove us to a night club called Montego's. It was full of very young (under aged) kids dancing away to all sort of recent disco music. It looked like your typical under aged night club. A group of teenage boys were prancing around in the middle of the floor trying to look cool and failing miserably. They were trying to look as if they were enjoying themselves but really they were only interested in moving in on the girls dancing beside them.

Then, all of sudden, another Afrikaans song came on, half the people on the floor disappeared and the remaining ones started teapot dancing! I nearly dropped my shot glass! We stayed there for about an hour before moving on.

The last place we went to was called Stall which I think means barn in Afrikaans - and that's exactly what it was - a very large barn with a video screen at one end and a bar at the other. You could have fitting a thousand people into the place and it would have still looked half full so the 50 or so that were there hardly made a dent in the dance floor. The crowd were older than Montegos and the music was more rock than disco but they still managed to do the teapot dancing whenever possible. We just sat at the bar doing shots (another straw rum sir!) and getting very drunk before going home to bed.

A very good night but I suffered badly on the boat the next morning!

Whale Watching

One of the great things about volunteering for Marine Dynamics is that they also have a sister company - Dyer Island Cruises which does whale watching trips. As a volunteer you can get to go on these trips free of charge. I have been on two trips the first was in such choppy weather that it was more of a roller coaster ride than a boat trip. As a result the whale watching was not that good.

My Second trip was fantastic. We got to see two sets of courting whales very close (as in one of them actually rubbed up against the boat!). As well as whales the boat also looks for penguins around dyer island then goes to Geyser Island where there is a colony of cape fur seals - thousands of them! Finally the trip can go and look at shark cage diving boats if there are any out at the time.

A very worthwhile trip to do - I'd recommend it (but then I am working for them!)