Sunday, December 28, 2008

Hobart 4th-5th

For my return to Hobart I tried a different backpacker place called Narrara which was according to rough guide 'Friendly and secure with an amiable live in manager and free internet access' What a load of shite. I think the amiable manager grunted when he took my money off me. The internet access was a horrible slot machine PC which gobbled money. My dorm room was a complete mess with no lockers and the door constantly ajar. I managed to bang my head getting into bed that night. Not an unusual thing as I tended to do that in bunks - except I was on the top bunk and I hit it off the ceiling! The ceiling was so low that I could reach out and touch the smoke detector from my bunk. It was a great feat of my will power not to set it off!

I decided I had to get out of this place and tried ringing the pickled frog backpackers only to be told that they had no room. In the end I went for a couple of drinks in another place mentioned in the guide, the new Sydney Hotel and decided after a couple of pints to stay there for the rest of my duration in Tasmania - so finally after 4 months travelling I had ended up sleeping above a bar. Not just any bar either - its an Irish bar! Except its not really.

Why the Sydney Hotel is not an Irish bar - A Ray Rant.

1. In the Sydney Hotel I overheard one of the barmen asking some punters not to swear. In an Irish Bar you are thrown out if you don't swear.

2. In the Sydney Hotel the number of people dwindled towards the end of the night. In an Irish Bar the number of drunks increases. Also people in Irish bars tend to order double rounds at the end of the night.

3. The Sydney Hotel has a decent selection of beers. Irish Bars have Gunniness and a poor selective of piss waters such as harp or Bud.

4. The Sydney Hotel does not sell Tayto Cheese and onion crisps - a crisp so potent that it induces an oniony burp that can clear half a room. Add it to a Guinness fart and you have nobody left standing in a 50 yard radius.

5. In the Sydney hotel guys were drinking out of half pint glasses. I am nearly sure that its written in the Irish Constitution that no man is allowed to drink out of half pint glasses. I believe it goes something like 'And Verily no Irish male shall be allowed to drinkth beer out of vessels less than 1 fluid pint. Any man found doing so shall be forever labeled a big girls blouse - so shall be the law'.
In Belfast people would just laugh at anyone who tried to start a fight with a broken half pint glass.

Still it was a nice bar.

The next day was my last day of renting the hire car and I was supposed to go down the Huon trail. I quickly moved my stuff out of the Narra Backpackers and headed out of the city. Of course this being Tasmania it bucketing down all morning and I eventually decided that enough was enough and turned round to head back to the city.

The sun came out in the afternoon just as I was unpacking into the Sydney Hotel (bloody typical!) The backpacker accommodation upstairs was ok - I had what I thought was a large room to myself. There was no real kitchen. What they had instead was a bunk room (with beds) where they had placed a fridge, a toaster, a kettle and a microwave - all that the great Raymondo, chef extraordinaire would ever need.

Once I got settled in I went for a final small drive in the car before returning it to the depot. Then I went to the library to get details about the local CVA office. I had booked myself on a CVA 'Day with the Devils' tour on the Sunday and I wanted to find out where I was to meet.

I eventually got in touch with Sarah in the main office (who was on the grampian getaway trip with me) only to be told that the tour had been cancelled due to lack of people. What was really annoying about this was that I had specifically planned the dates for this whole trip to Tasmania in order to go on this tour. The one the previous week was full up and as it happened so was the one the following week. Only my week did not have any people! I had also hoped to go on the CVA's monthly walk that they hold the first Saturday of each month - only that was full up!

So I was now stuck for anything to do over the weekend in Hobart.

To make matters worse I was no longer alone in my dorm room. The new occupant turned out to be an old retired English guy called Brian who was there for the weekend. I wouldn't have minded too much about this. He was, after all, a nice enough person who seemed to have had a very interesting life which included travelling the world in the merchant navy. However I have to say that he was incredibly boring and had one of the worst comb overs I have ever seen. I would sometimes tune out from his talking:

Brian: I was in Cape town once....
Me (thinking) Thats a really bad comb over!
Brian: I do poems you know....
Me (thinking) Why do people have them things
Brian: I love honey - do you know honey never goes off
Me (thinking) I mean why! What was that about honey?
Brian: I have even written a poem about honey
Me (thinking) Oh Jesus please don't!
Brian: I can't remember it however
Me (thinking) Thank god for that!

I quickly decided to go out for some food and spent a while walking around the town until ending up getting cheap Indian food.

When I got back to hotel the place was packed with work xmas parties and a middle of the road band was playing while drunk people danced. I had a couple of pints and was just starting to warm up to the band (ie drunk enough not to notice) when the place closed! It was only 12 on a Friday!

BEERS I HAVE DRUNK
Moo Brew Dark Ale: New Sydney Hotel - Even better than Boags Wizard
Bluetounge Ginger ale: New Sydney Hotel: Got very sickening very quickly

3 comments:

megat said...

  I think your blog is really interesting ... especially this post :)

PAUL MALLEY said...

Sunday 28th December:
Blackburn 2 Man City 2
McCarthy 45 Sturridge 88
Roberts 84 Robinho 90

Attend: 25200 Half-time: 1-0

QUESTION: Why does the "sleeping above a bar" link point to a Yello vid on You tube. Am I missing something?

coffee maker said...

your post makes me miss college (some things at least)