PERF 15th-18th Oct

Things I have learnt:

Having a slight speech impediment (my th's come out as f's) its never a good idea to go to a city which you can't even pronounce properly (As Kevin and Chad Constantly pointed out at the shark centre)

15th
My first day in Perth was not great. The shuttle bus to take me to the hostel was over an hour late. I was then taken on a roundabout route to my hostel Governor Robinsons.

From the start I did not like this hostel but I had already paid for 3 nights accommodation so I was stuck there like it or not. First they assigned me a bed in a very small dorm with 4 bunks. Second they assigned me a top bunk! I AM TOO OLD FOR TOP BUNKS. Trying to get my fat arse up on one is bad enough but trying to get back down again usually results in me having to half slide / half fall to the floor with a large thud.

There were lots of other small things about the place such as:

Broken lockers
reception only open certain times of the day
No free tea or Coffee
No soap or hand towels in the toilets (My mother brought me up to always wash properly afterwards!)
A kitchen that was small and a fridge that was even smaller
No lounge area and no TV

And worst of all: No BAR - not even beer for sale! (although you could bring your own carry outs back)

I was so shocked by it I had to get out and find a bar - even though it was the middle of the afternoon. So down the street i went until I came to the Brass Monkey - one of the bars mentioned in my recently purchased Rough Guide. I asked for a pint of redback wheat beer and was given the price - $8.90. What! - $8.90. I nearly dropped the glass - that works out at nearly £4 a pint! When's the next flight back to SA!

It turns out that Australia is just as dear as back home - if not dearer, Its not just the drink, food is just as bad - even from the supermarket. It looked like the holiday was over and I would have to cook my own food and stay in everynight! So I bought some provisions for dinner that night - baked beans, bread and a six pack (PEPE and Claudia come back!) and proceeded back to the dull hostel to sit around sopping on my beers.

That lasted about twenty minutes after which I went out to the local Irish Bar and drank my budget for the following day. I convinced myself that if I went to the cinema rather than a bar the following night I would get my budget back on track. (ho! ho! ho!)


16th

I was dreading this task: Shopping! I HATE SHOPPING but I was down to one pair of trousers as my other pair had a nice chummy fishy smell (yum yum). I also needed contact lenses, shirts and a new charger for my small camera. I went to a camera shop for the charger and was promptly shown a universal charger that can be used for charging just about any battery - mobiles, cameras, AA, AAA. I Thought "WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING WITH 2 TONS OF BATTERY CHARGERS IN MY KIT" you live and learn.

After the shopping I went back to the hostel to have my tinned chilli and microwaved rice dinner (Improvement on Baked beans!). I had decided to skip going back into town for the cinema and just chugged some more of my beer in the hostel. Unfortunately I got talking to an English girl and her Norwegian Friend. The hostel has a stupid policy of no noise after 11pm which meant either go out or go to bed. So out we went to the Irish bar and then on to a night club, after 3 hours drinking and 2 more days budget gone I made it back to my dorm.


17th

Finally on my third day in Perth I actually did some sightseeing and went to Kings Park. I've been to various city parks in my life but I would say that Kings Park is probably the best one I have ever been to. It had fantastic views like this:



Sorry this!



It was also well managed without looking totally manicured. Of course it helps to have birds like this flying around rather than starlings!





Kings Park is also one of the biggest city parks in the world - bigger than Central Park or Phoenix Park (Dublin). You could very easily lose yourself amongst its nature trails. OK! so I DID get lost and after about an hour of walking around in circles I eventually found my way back to the path via the DNA Tower.

Anyway here are some more pics:

BaoBoa Tree

elevated walkway

fountain

same fountain different angle

Perth City

DNA Tower

BTW I ended up back out with on the piss again with people out of the hostel got back at 3am

I am currently writing this at 11pm in a hostel in Freemantle - I have to stop going out drinking! Now where are my shoes!



STOP PRESS:

Giant Mouse attacks Perth!

In a dramatic turn of events involving a bite from a genetically modified great white shark Danger Mouse grew into a monster and started attacking down town Perth.

DM Attacks Perth!

When asked to comment Godzilla replied 'Bring it on rodent!'

Watch this space for the fight of the century (if I can find a Godzilla toy!)